3/2/2004, 11:51 am
We should be on our way to the BART station, but as tradition demands we are both naked awaiting food and not at all interested in meeting our REAL WORLD obligations.
I like our CONSENSUAL reality ever so much better.
This was bought for you at Sam's Club as an early Valentine's Day present. You were SO concerned about the money, so adamant to put it back.
BUT, being that I am historically more adamant than most people, me and my mighty checkbook won out
(duh na na)
The delicious look in your eyes, I could feel the appreciation, the love, radiating back to me. I would build castles in the sky (or the Bay) out of cigarette boxes and spent nitrous cartridges for you, for that look. I would and have rebuilt my world into a many-faceted jeweled unknown with stars made of razors and diamonds and windows of crystal.
Yeah--THAT look (hee!)
Like when you sank into my arms at WiSH, or the wide-eyed glassy look of rapt attention while I sing, sending my voice out of my throat-garden of broken glass and into our blue birthday weekend universe.
This look makes it SO GOOD to be good to you--you deserve it and no one (NO ONE) is better than me *wink*
This is how I KNOW
And I come out of every state of consciousness-the darkness, the blue, the red, the purple, the metal, the candy, the scream, the dance, the party, the bedroom, the sunset, the machine, the MOMENT
(the bright abrasive beauty of it all)
with that LOOK crying out my need, my want, my thanks
(and, on the last paragraph of the book [For a moment, he thought he heard a woman's voice...the wisdom of the ages...whispering up from the chasms of the earth.]:
Coming full circle-clearly this final paragraph was a reference to our nitrous sacrament.)
There's no bitterness, no anger (amazingly) just a subtle, joyous urging to distill this feeling into text and bring it glittering to the doors of those who I've left behind, to show them, to tell them. See Brian? See Doc? This is what I was talking about, this is what I wanted.
But what the hell, there's still Nerds.